Apple Music – Cloudy Strains for a Clear Conscience?
Apple Automation – Disc, this came off a disc? I trust you appreciate we don’t condone copying, times have moved on devoted friend. Henceforth, I advise that you always purchase through the iTunes store, enable match, then sync with iCloud. That way, any treasures you haven’t obtained from the enlightener but do have a presence in his domain are automatically detected, while all others that aren’t are uploaded with your meta-data into a sky bound library for sonic sustenance whenever and wherever you wish. It makes life so much easier.
Manual Classicist – The fundamental reason I reject iCloud as a concept is to avoid exhaustive intrusions like this. If I wanted Adagios renamed as Allegros, Mahler’s Symphonies listed under Mendelssohn, every track on Puccini’s Tosca displayed as a separate album and automated mischief like you to spontaneously re-arrange my entire thumbnail matrix faster than David Blaine shuffles sixty decks of crazy eights, it would be a blessed asset. As things stand, every cloud’s lining thus far has been anything but silver.
Apple Automation – There’s no need to rant, it’s all for a brighter future.
Manual Classicist – For your enlightener or me? And in the short or long term?
Apple Automation – I’m not sure I follow.
Manual Classicist – Putting all your pips on the table you’d really rather I didn’t keep a personal copy of my collection.
Apple Automation – What gives you that idea?
Manual Classicist – Once I’m eternally cloudified your master has carte blanche to mould terms and conditions like putty. 8 dollars a month. No, 16 seems reasonable, how about 32, let’s see what they’ll tolerate, how much they’ll cough up to their mellifluous memories. How long then before DRM resurfaces in some ghastly pernicious guise to imprison our purchases on one device or demand that we pay per play.
Apple Automation – Such paranoid presumptions, irrational and ironic in light of fact that it was our omnipresent overlord who instigated DRMS’s destruction, who liberated millions of listeners from a discordant dictatorship, how many years did it take for Microsoft follow suit? Tidal still embraces it. It’s in Deezer’s DNA. Spotify smuggles it in through the back door, yet these are our deadly rivals. Consider how magnanimous our leader is trying to be in the face of such savage adversity.
If you despise our vision so intensely, you needn’t partake. All of your songs are aac and DRM free. Tear them away from iTunes and isolate them in Media Monkey, entomb them in that five year old trial version Winamp, deny them their walk in the heavens. But you’ll be missing out. Your musical essence is as sacred to us and shall always be your right to savour.
Manual Classicist – But it’s not you’re right to give.
Apple Automation – We guard it as we nurture our brand and want only for both grow and thrive in euphoric unison.
Manual Classicist – I music confess for a bot your patter is pleasantly poetic, so I hope you won’t take offence when I tell you that I rather listen to Mily Cyrus imitating an Alaskan Timberwolf on an Acid trip set to a backing track of thrash metal than be any part of the future you dream of. I fear not even a lost Wagnerian opera could cloud my common sense , never mind Zane Lowe, Trent Reznor or Barack Omabama’s Bowdlerized playlist.
Apple Automation – Thank you sir, that’s plenty to work with.
Manual Classicist – You’re wasting your time. This might be news to you but Internet music radio has been around for while now, acting like it’s Apple’s Idea will charm very few, no matter how loud you shout or how profitable this delusion has proven in the past. You’re fooling nobody.
Apple Automation – You misunderstand. Our enlightened hides behind no fantasies, relies on no illusions nor breeds success through deception. Just because we wait doesn’t mean we lie. Patience does not equal pretence. If anything it should exemplify our honesty, wisdom, adherence to an honoured philosophy that before we even conceive of a solution, we are confident of sailing where others have floundered and stop at nothing to achieve perfection. It should legitimise our faith in this product, reassure you that its life will be healthy, worthy and of historic significance. Repackaged and delivered by us, music could work as many miracles as medicine.