27 Imprisoned Inches, One Pixel-Hoarding Host.

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As orders were fastidiously formulated, credit limits crushed and the long wait for a UPS vessel’s treacly brown diesel rattle commenced our applicants extrovert nature evoked vibrant V logging, and more explanatory inconsistencies became apparent.   A large percentage who had vigorously vaunted the value of the entry level package inadvertently mitigated their reasons for investment by requesting variants incorporating the fastest, most capacious enhancements available, elevating the total cost of to that the mac pros, non-apple equivalents and DIY builds they’d claimed afforded less show for rising dough and were beyond their budget.

I wondered why.  It’s not as if there wasn’t the choice forgo the flash storage, be grateful with the lesser GPU, spare a stick of  SDRAM and pass on the pricier processor. We’ve all had immense fun dotting the circles and crossing the squares to sketch beasts that could plant a probe on Pluto and yet, those with scarce silver to splurge tended to avoid that purchase button.  

It appeared that in the wake of what was doubtless a difficult and morally questionable decision to favour exclusivity over expandability, there evidently existed a concern over longevity after all.   “I decked this thing to gills.” “If you’re gonna take the plunge, do it with panache.” “I’ve gone all out, blown the wad, why settle for second best.” On the contrary, why, without exception, select the most extravagant options unless your propensity to future-proof prevailed over financial frugality?

Time to reward ourselves with affluent veracity.  It was never really about thriftiness.  All our self publicising PC polygamists had been seduced by a deadly combination of fiendishly fulsome marketing and cosmetics slicker than a sailfish in a silk suit driving a Cadillac over a frozen infinity pool.  But the lions share also remained mindful enough to discern that Apple had implemented its USP under predictably stringent and potentially suboptimal conditions.

They knew, perhaps better then any, that the pinnacle of 5k pleasantness all but presupposed a Mac Pro’s peerless potency and that software devised to parade its benefits on the world’s densest IPS’s veritably insisted on a Haswell-E’s Herculean honey punch.  By their reckoning, when in a savy state of mind, even a mildly inspiring experience would decree a sextet of unlocked cores, multiple GPUs joined in frame mincing matrimony and a rip-roaring render ready RAID array.   

With all that considered, it surely troubled them that aside from ample memory accommodation, the staunchest configuration they could compile with a view to dignifying their delectable display equated to a mismatched mid-range desktop. Supercharged by the speediest Devils’s Canyon, marred by mobile grade graphics and a hard drive sternly deprived of co-workers.  

Nevertheless, the utterly enraptured disciples of dear old Granny Smith,  plainly aware that attempts to upgrade an Imac after purchase was a task less desirable than diffusing a thousand land mines under two thousand fluffy bunnies in front of an audience of four thousand heavily armed vegan warriors, proceeded on their pilgrimage to PPI perfection. As thousands of index fingers lowered their trembling tips to a cacophony of conclusive clicks, every bone in their respective skeletons would have sensed deja vu and every concious sub-conscience must have accepted this action would not long deter its underlying cause.   Once their teeth have trapped so much as a pip, an Appophile’s contentment with anything but the most ripe and tangy Bramleys of the season is temporary.  

Intermission

God, I’m loathed to continue communicating in this ridiculously restrictive alliterative fashion. it must be as irritating to to read as it is aggravating to to write.  It’s driving me crazy and such trivial subject matter doesn’t become it.  I’m done with this piece, I’m through with petty procrastinations.  I only do it for fear of commencing my next feature and suddenly having no interest in the subject or original interpretive ideas, and all it affords is confounding  complication.  In future I resolve to remorsefully restrain what is boarding on a silly obsession.  Join me again for the next article to see if I make good my words, in every sense of the word.

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