27 Imprisoned Inches, One Pixel-Hoarding Host.

1 2 3ALL

Return to Your musings for Your Readers Grow Beards of Boredom.

Fair enough.  Our hasty technophiles had long known that the only other bridge to 5k  Babylon would bring them face to surface with a second 27 inch panel, manufactured by one of the forbidden fruit’s fiercest nemesis,  the deadly Duke of Round Rock, Dell, though the monitor we speak of was suspended in its ponderous pre-order phase and carried a toll of $2500, equal to a vanilla 5k Imac, but without the complementary computer.  

This  distinction had been repeatedly referenced by all destined to adopt on the grounds that it silenced any habitual sniping at Apple’s proportionally preposterous prices and this time, in fairness, the argument couldn’t be countered with hardened cynicism.  It was indeed aggressive gambling by a company historically prone to profiteer that represented both rare value for money and the attractive opportunity to utilize technology otherwise bound to exhibitions in consumer proof cocoons.   Yet, as these very words wandered into a Word Press wilderness, the devilish Duke took a sneaky side swipe and slashed his  candidates bounty by over five hundred green-backs and three hundred and twenty British pounds and eighty eight new English pence.

Still inept to cover the cost of a credible supporting system or even one to upstage the basic Imac, but significant enough to arouse suspicious side long looks amongst our impetuous trialists. In the early decades of the twenty hundreds, few addictions consumed their victims as could those to computers and newness, especially when shaken into a volatile cocktail with a third class A wisdom suppressant, speed, as measurable in non-powdery units of frequency and time.  

It is my prophecy that within the opening annum of the three these resplendent, retina enriched royals were supposed to reign , their owners will be gazing forlornly through an anti-glare gorilla glass ceiling at multitudes of Mac Pro and non-apple contemporaries rewarded by prosperity they might have reaped but for a pinch of priceless patience.  

Each ensconced smugly in front of self-sufficient screens from LG, Acer, Asus, BenQ and others, snatched for nigh on $1000. Driven by dozens of dies beneath cylindrical and rectangular monoliths.  

Propelled by unbridled incarnations of texture toting Tahitis, compute crunching Keplers, ROP laden Hawaiis and Maxwells manifesting more mega pixel mastery than social networks spew puerile rhetoric. Then, in rueful resignation, they will turn and stare across a studiously appointed dominion at their own displays, darkened in a dormant and highly “reflective” state.  Faithfully awaiting a mousey awakening.  Amply equipped to trade tiffs with any rival and still willing to win favour with their benefactor, though alas, now eternally entombed and increasingly impeded by an ageing host, fit for little else than abdication.   Across the room they will purposefully stride before sinking into a handsome Charles Eames replica.  “Click”.  Safari”.  “Click” again. Solicit an auctioneer of infamous repute.

iMac with Retina 5k display. Purchased just north of a year ago,  in superb condition and complete working order, could pass as new were it not for the fact I’d been dumb enough to dump the box, thinking I’d never relocate or want another computer for the rest of my life.

Selling due to a gradual onset of  velocity deficit I should have foreseen on the morning I walked into the store, along with the insane desire to upgrade to either the latest Mac Book, which boasts a 4k Retina panel, a faster CPU, equal graphical grunt, greater memory, superior storage and is distinctly more portable.

Or perhaps the signature Mac Pro, with a 14 core Xeon hulk from Hawell’s third and heftiest kinship, double the RAM, and DDR4 mind. A couple of searing solid state archivists.  Hawaii ignited industrial grade visual vivacity – that’ll be a Fire Pro w9100 – and best of all, a free choice of monitor, the 6k Dell is a stunner.   Failing that, maybe the day has dawned to dust off the tools, dig out the thermal paste, revert to hands on practicality.  A build well executed is brunt hard earned.  Windows 10.1 doesn’t look that bad and besides, honing a Hackintosh is always a hoot. 

Old mothers musings should never be snubbed when engaging in e-tail therapy, more haste, really does procure less pace. To the impartial binary bards or apoplectic Apple apologists assimilating these words, whether in the immediate past, historical present or redundant future, if you feel I’ve been excessively judgemental, too quick to denounce, or presented scant evidence to substantiate or justify what you might dismiss as arrogant assumptions or sardonic scepticism, permit us to part on respectful but realistic terms.

The characteristics of Apple’s religiously nurtured image and the ardent faith it is able to instil in the technologically self concious has allowed it to define trends and evolve styles with a consistency comparable to the classiest, most complacent brands in the fashion industry.

Not surprisingly, this has led to vociferous condemnations, born out of supposition that the company germinated and continues to thrive from a similar strain of unconditional adoration. On the contrary, this enchanting tree of lifestyle, bearing fruits  bursting with succulent social status, alluringly ensconced at the epicentre of consumerism’s most perilous jungle, is all too aware that to rest on its roots, alongside laurel companions, would be to flirt with fate and suffer a steeper slide in street credibility than a Betamax Boxed Set of party political broadcasts.

This is precisely why “The iMac with Retina 5k 27 inch display of fantastic 5k”  was such a tantalizing blend of traditionally masterful presentation and innovative engineering, made available to its flourishing fraternity at a refreshingly reasonable price. However, ultimately, whether by oversight or intent, it was a flawed masterpiece and it’s potential was left markedly unrealised. One firm basis for this bold statement lay in Apple’s atypical haste.

Never a company to be questioned for shambolic launches or impatient radicalism – even its follies are as choreographed as a WWE Royal Rumble featuring the credited cast of Chorus Line – its timing on this occasion verged on reckless and perceptibly forced its reliance on fiery firmaments for the IMac’s  graphical accoutrements.

Previously, albeit for the non-retina pedigree, tranquil green mists had emanated a soothing and seamless balance between the three variables of the apocalypse.  Speed, heat and noise. I wanted there to be four variables in order to create an amusing allusion to the four horseman, but every word I conjured up was a scientific synonym of my three initial choices, so that took care of that one. Those familiar with cutting edge tower toppling will know that employing an earlier design or fabrication process to produce the latest notebook GPUs, then inscribing them in accordance with present desktop bloodline is a common practice, under emerald and ruby authority.

To relate a personal experience, I shall confess to once owning an Alienware M17x, the inaugural “R1”, a finicky, fragile  formulation of throttling infamy.  Its pictorial prowess was predicated on twin GTX 280M cards, which, on evidence of model numbers alone, one might conclude to be shrunken GTX 280s, each fostering a fully fledged GT200 die.  In truth, they were no more than reincarnated G92s and all but identical to those found on  Nvidia’s preceding desktop delegates, the 9800 and 9800+. In the closing months of 2014,  it was the rampaging Redbead who was most guilty of applying such tactics.  His featherweight singles champ was the R9 M290X, with the “M” standing as much for “misleading”  as for “mobile”.

The “Nepture” as it was also known, bore a striking similarity to the  “Pitcarin” propelled HD 7870, a two year old counterpart and decidedly subordinate to its pride’s alpha male, the HD 7970. Meanwhile, a vast verdant entity of epic voracity, had been steadily squeezing the performance margin between his miniaturized and normalized creations.

The GTX 780M had emerged in Spring 2013 and harboured a partially pacified Kepler, closely resembling that which premièred on the GTX 680, though unlike the Neptune, the former had been its family’s crown jewel, aimed defiantly at the most frame hungry hardware fanatics.  Thus, the GTX 780M enjoyed a small but significant edge over its oceanic nemesis.

So, how does that convoluted two paragraph detour relate to immediate matters?  Stay calm, I’m getting there.  The Retina, being a desktop laptop cross breed had to count on portable assistance to populate its display’s colossal acreage and it’s choices were limited to the offerings of two otherwise sworn enemies. On October 16th, rumours of a sensational decision were confirmed, when the juicy brotherhood’s hither to heaviest hitter trotted out to a startlingly subdued fanfare, thereby revealing its master’s vault-face into bloody fields.

The controversial deal brought with it the rights to exclusive rights to a newly condensed thoroughly virile video card.  The R9 M295X. Not as its moniker implied, a reduced realisation of mount Vesuvius, but a freshly spun 28mn core clocked at a commanding 850mhz and christened “Tonga”.  Its other  vitals? A 360mm die teeming with 5 billion transistors and 4GB of DDR5 dancing atop a big red bus, 256 bits in width, and tearing along at almost 5.5ghz.

A truly enticing option and possible game changer for any who feared a R9 M290X might struggle to deploy an army some 14745600 pixels strong.   All of this mere days after Nvidia had given a garish green light to Maxwell Mobility, a potentially perfect solution to the IMac’s monumental task and pound for pound, the closest any compact clipper has come to trading masts with its founding flagship. “What about the GTX 980M?”  Cried a multitude of bewildered Appolytes.

Those stupefied were justified.  Why on Earth the rush?  A week’s wait was all it would have meant to ensure purchasers’ could piece together the premium iMac, with not a pipeline left to chance.  Would such bold deviation from the tried and distrusted ultimately be conducive to profit and a positive customer experience?  AMD’s fleet of R9s had indeed delivered astounding results when located in lavish ATX lodgings, but their propensity to deprive a gamer’s central heating of its rightful role was acknowledged and feared by many concerned.

How would the “Tonga” fair when sharing a PCB with a Dantesque  Devil’s Canyon.  Could it crumble if eternally entombed between an impregnable glass curtain and a slender sarcophagus of skilfully sculpted aluminium? Do you think all these questions are rhetorical? Even that last one? Forum fallout, true to tradition, followed its unwritten law.  A complex, confounding concoction of sharply divided agreement and firmly united contention.

There were accomplished “professionals” who had allegedly invested for want of “enhanced workflow”, most of whom had recruited an R9 290Xs to drive their displays. These seemed largely ecstatic.  Their proclivities revolved around edgy design, state of the art CAD, adept photo manipulation and other serious applications in no way connected to trivial leisure at least, they’d be ill-disposed to admit as such.

Then there were others, who had elected to bolster their builds with an R9 M295X, on the expectation of a machine equipped for any form of business or entertainment a common, casual gaming semi-amateur expert could wish for.  This contingent was roundly hounded by members of the latter.  Who on Mars buys a Mac for gaming? They would ask thirty eight times a thread.

Yet, No matter how regular the utterance of this tiresome cliché, or how slavishly its endorsers conspired to bury valuable evidence, a thermally detrimental consequence of Apple’s impulsiveness could not be disguised. I’m not biased best beloveds, I’m bound by facts. I’d welcome the liberty to lazily luxuriate in a bath of unfounded opinions but could get never comfortable without the spicy essence of truth.  Take this iMac, I don’t even own the damned thing, I’ve never given a home to a mac.  An iPhone 5s, , iPod Nano of the sixth order and 7th Generation IPod Classic,  make up my entire stable of Apple authored inventions.

Nonetheless, to refrain from a single comment or assertion regarding what may well become a historical relic would be to overlook the golden opportunity to telegraph every shortfall, anomaly and annoyance to which it would  be inextricably linked, then annoy swarms of premature adopters by inciting discourse like this.

1 2 3ALL