Sizzling Sequels & Fijian Ferocity
admin | June 13th, 2015 - 2:51 pmQ the Forums
Nvidia-Ite Five unanswered uppercuts from Nvidia since the amp guzzling atrocity that was the R9 295×2, and every single one quieter, prettier, and over-clock-able without tearing a hole in the stratosphere. Does this really need to go to points or should we retire AMD and declare the 28nm war fought and won. Its immoral to allow such pulverizing punishment to continue when a company is so manifestly incapacitated, the long term effects could be devastating. Board room dissension, fan-boy desertion and certainly no more lucrative contracts from Apple, unless Tim Cook discovers a constructive way to market melting iMacs.
AMD-Ite Uppercuts? What fight are you watching? More like five wild sucker punches from a frustrated green eyed monster who’s been unable to land a hurtful blow since the opening bell and is now becoming desperate. Whatever happened to his cagey opportunism? It might not have grabbed the judges attention but his tight defence in rounds three through five at least showed some semblance of a strategy.
To wait for Red-beard to throw his hay-making Hawaiian hook before responding with that clubbing Kepler counter was a tactical master-stroke. Now all has succumbed to recklessness. He thought the Maxwell combo, that sharp left cross (GTX 980) and bone cruncher to the body (Titan X) would seal the deal, but AMD took it and grinned through its big red gloves. He should have held off, skated away, tried to steal it on points but instead, he rushed forward like a flailing drunk. A hundred shots thrown and not a single one landed. Plan A has gone to pieces plan B doesn’t exist, can’t you sense he’s panicking?
Nvidia-Ite An inventive twist on my pugilistic analogy that carries as much weight as a Crane Fly’s jab. Since the Maxwell, your man has barely risen from his stool. You know why? Because he never believed this would go the distance and punched himself out by the 3rd. Hardly surprising since conserving energy has never been his forte. A total of 1990 watts expended in the battle to be crowned this node’s champion compared to Nvidia’s 2535. Sounds encouraging until you consider he’s extracted five less cards from it. That’s an average of almost 100 watts less per GPU and you assert we’re not pacing ourselves? All AMD has been able to do since the 980 is slash prices to compensate for slowness. Mark my words, if this onslaught continues, the maroon mauler might never render again.
AMD-Ite Ever Heard of Rope a dope? What you assume to be submissive silence is actually a product launch more clinically coordinated than a presidential campaign, the 24th of June will be the 8th round in Zaire and the Fiji, Ali’s surgical finisher to Foreman’s Titanic jaw.
Oh, and the last time I checked, the r9 295×2 was still king of mountain, despite five free title shots in the form of the Titan Black, the Titan-Z, the 980, the Titan X and this latest farce. Harp on about three broken crossfire profiles within a plethora of over 20000 games. Spread toxic propaganda about the miseries of micro-stutter even when the most forensic analyses have confirmed they are all but expunged. It matters not. Once those tortuous tests have looped themselves into limbo and visions wavy foliage and fluffy doughnuts preclude peaceful slumber, Vesuvius still roars louder than any Titan.
Nvidia-Ite Provided you’ve obtained the requisite planning permission to install it, and by roar, I assume you mean its fan. Come on, the Titan X instantly relegated all dual boards to relics and good riddance, who wants one now? They’re cumbersome, impractical, uneconomical and a source of dire aggravation for driver developers.
AMD-Ite The Titan-Z certainly was, more than 15% slower than the 295 for a sum that would buy you a year’s vacation on the Moon.
Nvidia-Ite But far more over clock able, entirely air cooled, and 125 watts left for neighbours.
AMD-Ite If you’re really type to dither over every amp, you’d have ditched your desktop long ago live in a house with app controlled solar panels, no kettle or toaster, a cardboard microwave, a vegan oven, a fridge that lectures you on global warming whenever you defrost it and an iPad at every power point telling you how many hours you need to huff and puff on the cross trainer to boil half an egg.
Nvidia-Ite No one’s pretending dream gaming rigs are monuments to mother nature but when you’re burning more fossil fuels during a Black ops killing spree than a Dodge Viper down route 66 you need to wake up and smell the ozone.
AMD-Ite – We’re all at it. What are you, an Al Gore tribute act? Allow me to hoist you on your own petard. Tell me which is worse, Nvidia pumping out 10 video cards with a collective TDP of 2.5 kilowatts or AMD releasing five with one of below 2? Is it better to make twelve Smart Cars or six Subarus, get the gist? The material and production costs alone obliterate any conservation gained by the the lower average .
Nvidia-Ite Not when you account for the net consumption of all those Radeon’s roasting inside customers’ cases.
AMD-Ite. Which skews things even further in our favour. Who do you think sells more cards?
Nvidia-Ite. Precisely. Perhaps your margins would improve if your philosophy wasn’t so profligate. The Fiji is going to be water cooled, do you get that? Fluid dependant. A single chip card that demands liquid relief straight out of the box. A first of its kind, in the worst possible context. It’s as good as cheating. If Nvidia had played by those rules by now, we’d be marvelling at Middle Earth in 8k at 100fps with a Maxwell cool enough to freeze mercury. Have you seen the figures being banded around? We’re talking a TDP of 375 watts for ONE GPU, the same as the Titan-Z needed for two and 45 more than for a pair of GTX 980’s.
AMD-Ite. Poisonous fallacies worthy of the tackiest tabloids. Had you endeavoured to cleanse your tainted conscience with tincture of truth you’d have discovered there is an air-cooled counterpart.
Nvidia-Ite. Really? Does it double up as a drone to save on shipping costs?
AMD-Ite. If it guzzled as much as the Titan-Z it could fly your kids to Disneyland, but to negate your second fictitious claim, its TDP is actually 275 watts.
Nvidia-Ite – Still hungrier than the Maxwell.
AND-ite – And worth it. The technology is unprecedented, high bandwidth memory, AMD’s fattest die yet, over a thousand more stream processors than the Hawaii. Close to 9 billion transistors. To have achieved all that, saved 15 watts and raised tempos by almost fifty percent is one hundred percent astounding.
Nvidia-Ite – Oh? Now who’s making rash predictions, where did you get that figure?
AND-ite – From the same unsullied source as the last one.
Nvidia-Ite. They could have shaved off another watt if they’d skipped on those naff LEDs
AND-ite. Do I detect envy or is your face always that colour?
Nvidia-Ite. It’s just a bout of nausea, brought on by your attempts at humour and a graphics card that resembles a breeze block on a ventilator.
AND-ite. First, I suggest you casually browse the meanderings of this wayward and whimsical website until an exceptionally fact saturated table slides into view. Wait. What’s that? I believe I sense one approaching.
AND-ite. Second, I assume you didn’t time-shift E3. Just as well really, Jaws scarred swimmers for life, you’d have never gone near another monitor if you’d seen AMD’s presentation. Lisa Su’s poise and charisma is matched only by her passion for peripheral perfection and palpable devotion to the ingenious team she leads.
Nvidia-Ite. I’d rather have drink with Tom Peterson.
AMD-Ite – Even if he refused to pay and your pint arrived partially unlocked?
Nvidia-Ite. I’m a teetotaler.
AMD-ite. Green Tea by any chance?
Nvidia-Ite. Is there such a thing?
AMD-ite. You should get out more.
Nvidia-Ite. You should learn what sarcasm is.
AMD-ite. Forgive me, my wit doesn’t plumb such depths. Anyway, the Fiji’s imperial vessel is called the Fury X, one and a half times more prolific per watt than the 290x and your efforts to tarnish its sublimity only invite ridicule. It is as stunningly sculpted as the Elgin Marbles, as cute to behold as puppies cuddling piglets and oozes more quality than a Chocolatier’s legacy.
Nvidia-Ite. Especially when it melts.
AMD-ite. Honestly, lay off thermal jibes get some new material and check back into reality. Thanks to Coolermaster’s ingenuity this beautiful creature has a typical load temp of 50 degrees, that’s 30 degree undercut on your infernal contraptions.
Nvidia-Ite. So what? For an amphibious card I should damn well hope so. Take a look at EVGA’s Hybrid 980ti. A refashioned air cooler fused with a pre-assembled closed loop, stock clocks over 150mhz higher than the reference version and what a surprise, an identical load temperature.
AMD-ite. You mean, a grotesque retro fitted appendage that further defiles a dated design. Uttering it in the same breath as the Fury brings breakfast to my throat. How can that ghastly mutant compare with a stylish chassis of die cast aluminium, smoothly coated in silken midnight nickel with sensuously tactile side panels. Illuminated logos on the underside and outer edge. An elegantly crafted bracket engraved with the Radeon emblem. Its stainless, vent-less surface fostering a trio of display-ports topped off by a second gen HDMI input. All neatly packed onto a card scarcely larger than the the radiator that disperses its clement warmth.
Nvidia-ite. Clement? Assuming your address is 101 Hades Avenue.
AMD-ite. Better Hades Avenue than Price Gouge City. No more fouled USB headers, no more blocked m.2 slots SATA sockets or mobo switches. Acoustics quieter than autumn leaves and armfuls of room for airflow. Think of the potential. Monstrous rigs with greater compute capacity than last year’s server farms, yet as silent as a mouse’s shadow in a monastery. ITX builds with ATX brunt.
Motivation for app weary sofa surfers to make a quantum leap into role playing paradise.
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